Playing pretend with Austyn

I go to school with a crazy red-headed virgin named Austyn. I will give her a small amount of credit by saying that she is definitely the coolest virgin I have ever met, wait, let’s be honest, she is the ONLY virgin I know. How she has made it to 20 years old without making a huge mistake with some football player named Jake is beyond me. Kudos Austyn. Gold star for you.

We are partnering on a school project right now. A project that is taking FOREVER in my opinion. We have to create a SALON from the ground up. We are graded on like 10 things, and so far my partner Austyn is proving that she would be a wonderful interior designer, but really stinks at sticking to the “plan”. We have yet to do ANYTHING that we will really be graded on, other than naming the salon and coming up with a pretend address. Today, she is once again focusing on the FURNITURE, WALLPAPER, WOOD FLOORING, and everything else nonsensical that won’t be graded. So finally, she is showing me pictures of these things, and I stop her to say:

“Let’s try focusing on some of the things on the list that we will be graded on.”

to which she replies,

“I NEED YOU TO APPROVE THESE IDEAS and make sure you like them!”

I get a really serious look on my face and say,

“Austyn, if I do not like the decor of our pretend salon, I will wait until you go on pretend vacation, and pretend remodel it.”

Problem solved. I can’t blame her for being an overachiever… In fact, in some weird way I look up to her, because she has yet to soil her youth and her future with alcohol, trashy men, and countless failed projects. I will try to be more patient, and I will even look kindly at her wallpaper swatches and exude a few “oooooh’s and ahhhhhhhh’s”.

Back to work… If we don’t get 100% on this, I will be seriously surprised.